October 19, 2008: Revisiting Solitude, Community, and Ministry

Dear Friend,

Diana got me in touch with Bart, Dana Bates’ brother, a couple days ago. Bart is an English teacher and attends on an on-and-off basis a multi-cultural church not far from the office. I agreed to meet Bart outside the church, which happened to be right next to a McDonald’s. I was able to walk there from the office, which was convenient because I was pretty familiar with that area.

Bart looks quite a bit like Dana, so he wasn’t that difficult to spot. Once we met up we walked into the church, which happens to be in a part of an old municipal building of some kind. We got to meet a number of people, the names of which I can’t remember, but all of them were very welcoming. The church is indeed multi-cultural, as there were people from many different countries, some of them students. It was very refreshing to be at a church service again. Diana was hoping that such an opportunity would help me get over my culture shock. The service started with some very familiar praise songs and then went into the message.

The congregation had been going through a series by Henri Nouwen and today was the last day of the series. I had never seen Henri Nouwen speak, so this was exciting for me. What was even better was that his message was on solitude, community, and ministry, a topic I had explored only a month ago in Lupeni. Instead of reading an article, though, I got to watch the dynamics of this very expressive man as he delivered his message to a rather large, outdoor congregation. The video took up the rest of the service.

I wrote in a previous entry my thoughts on Nouwen’s message about solitude, community, and ministry. Nouwen says that Christians typically do things backwards. They try to minister, thinking they can do it by themselves. When doing it by themselves doesn’t work, they go to other people for help. When that doesn’t work, they go to God as a last resort. Nouwen believes it should be the other way around. A Christian starts out in solitude, alone time with God as it were, and in solitude comes to know his/her relationship to God as God’s beloved. After this, the Christian joins community with other Christians who also discovered in solitude they’re beloved to God. Finally, within community ministry can take place.

As someone dealing with culture shock, feeling very much alone in the world, Nouwen’s message was very reassuring. I had been, as I mentioned, trying to make a good impression for quite awhile now, which meant I was depending on affirmation from those I was working with. Ironically, I was receiving affirmation but it wasn’t enough and I needed more in order to know I had truly done my job. Nouwen described this as dependence, something one human being should never have for another. Our dependence should be on God because only He can give us what we need, which is the knowledge of how we are beloved by Him. Only God can make us beloved, and that’s what I needed. Obviously, I was looking for it in the wrong place.

I had to think awhile longer, though, on Nouwen’s community aspect. The community I had become a part of was rather different than the one I was used to. The most obvious difference on my mind was that my community at Northwestern is Christian, while my A.R.T. Fusion community isn’t. At least, my A.R.T. Fusion community doesn’t profess to be Christian. This leads, in some regards, to something of a block in forming community. That’s what I thought, anyway, as I listened to Nouwen, but even as I thought that I began to realize the absurdity of that thought. Of course I’m able to form a community with the volunteers at A.R.T. Fusion. In fact, they’ve already started trying themselves, by including me in their activities. Whether they’re professed Christians or not doesn’t matter as they’ve already expressed a desire through their actions for wanting me to be a part of their group.

This is what I’m trying to convince myself of. I think it’s rather arrogant to think a Christian can’t form some kind of a community with non-Christians. It’s a fine line, I know. There are things that will be lacking in a community with non-Christians that I could have from a Christian community, but that shouldn’t keep me from forming community with non-Christians. That should keep me from loving them. Also, as I’m finding what I need in God, I should be able to form community. I think that’s what my colleagues at A.R.T. Fusion want with me. I could be completely off the deep end, but I don’t think so. I know what I’m proposing is difficult, but no one said being a Christian is easy. As I recall St. Francis’ prayer, seeking to console, understand, and love, I feel community will be the outcome.

I spent the rest of the afternoon with Bart and a friend of his from church. Our service at the restaurant we chose for lunch was rather terrible, but the food was good. We spoke about living in the city, different denominations represented here, and also the upcoming elections in the States. It was around four o’clock when I returned to the office.

I really hope things start getting better. Being in church this morning helped a whole and I’m planning on returning to that church for upcoming services. Tomorrow I’ll be having a conversation with Carmen about a lot of this. She’s also been very helpful and understanding, so I know things can only get better if we all work everything out. It’s all a part of the learning experience.

Blessings.
Kailen