Dear Friend,
Language lessons today were rather nondescript, so I’ll pass over that. We did, however, learn more vocabulary and then used some to draw an alien on the marker board. It had two green heads and an assortment of other colored appendages. I gave it a red chimney. We were studying vocab, so I thought I could get away with it.
We had EE at Janelle and Daniel’s apartment. We were required to bring our backpacks with some items, so we could learn how to use our backpacks and how to pack them. (At this time I’d like to thank, once again, the wonderful Andrea Davis for lending me her backpack.) At this point, it seems each of us would be able to pack more than enough items in our backpacks to last us a week. My feelings may change when we actually pack everything we're taking. Daniel shared some packing tips, ways of making things accessible if the need should arise.
We also discussed proper dress for certain climates. Each group (Andrew, Hollyann, Chelsea and Anne, Stacey, Solita, myself) had to pick a model to wear outfits required for the climate changes Daniel provided for us. Stacey modeled for our group. We had to help her decide what to wear for rainy, sunny, cold, and stormy conditions. The room our outfits were in contained an enormous collection of books that I could not take my eyes off. I really wanted to just sit and look at them all day instead of help with the fashion show.
Before Janelle and Daniel moved into this apartment it was Dana and Brandi’s. They still keep many of their books here, which is what I was looking at in this room. In the computer room there were still more books. Dana’s working on his PhD right now. He attended Gordon College for undergrad and seminary, so it makes sense that he would have this many books. His C.S. Lewis collection was what impressed me the most. Dostoevsky was well represented (how can he not be when his novels are as big as they are?) A lot of religion and theology texts. I could’ve read for a long time in there.
As we didn’t have time last night, Hollyann and I shared our life stories after we were done with the fashion show. Hollyann’s story is not all that different from mine. The main similarity I found was our relationships (or lack thereof) which each of our parents. Her parents are getting a divorce. Mine already have. Our relationships with our fathers are strained. Our relationships with our mothers are very strong. Hollyann made a wonderful comment about how God is her rock, but her mom is her pebble. Her mom is very influential in her life.
I did my best to tell my life story[1]. You may know it yourself, friend, I’m not sure. The difficulty I find in telling my life story is how much can I leave out and still make what I tell coherent. There’s a lot that depends on a lot when I tell my story. Also, I didn’t make eye contact with anyone, something I know I need to work on. The main reason for this is I have a hard time believing the words that are coming out of my mouth. I’m always afraid that other people won’t believe what I say, in large part because I can barely believe it myself. Solita told me afterwards my story seemed to just get worse the further along I went.
I was glad for questions from the group, because when I ended the story it seemed rather bleak. Things really aren’t as horribly bad as they may seem, but the facts remain that a lot of bad is still going on. It was not my intention to have a pity party. Andrew asked about my siblings and what they were doing, which lightened the mood substantially. Janelle asked her staple question: “What’s your favorite book, movie, and musical artist,” to which I answered, “To Kill a Mockingbird, A Beautiful Mind, and Hayley Westenra.” Everyone laughed. They all know how much a truly appreciate Hayley Westenra.
Janelle also asked me why I had chosen theatre as my major. I explained that theatre at Northwestern focuses so much more on ensemble, which I found very refreshing. Each person in the theatre is just as important as the next. I said also that I appreciate the mandate that while we may not like each other, we must each love each other. Theatre at Northwestern has been a safe place for me to make mistakes, ask questions, wrestle with issues, and thereby grow from those experiences. I’ve also found faculty and peers who care deeply about me, and who are willing to help me and be with me as I grow.
It was another moment of bonding between me and the others in the group. If not that, then I at least felt much better after telling them about my life. I’d like to think they have more of an understanding of what makes me tick, or at least where I’m coming from. Daniel wants to get through everyone’s life story before we head out to Retezat, but that may not happen. Andrew volunteered me to be one of the first to share, as I’ll be leaving the group after Retezat. I don’t think I’ll get the chance to hear everyone else’s stories, but I’m happy they were so eager to hear mine.
Blessings.
Kailen
[1] A short version of my life story can be found in the next blog entry.
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